Flame

Extinguishing The Flame

The Consequences of Gaslighting and How to Stand up for Yourself What is Gaslighting? Have you ever found yourself in a relationship or friendship with someone who is constantly denying their actions or words? You know they said they would do something or that they went somewhere, you know you heard it or saw it […]

A woman upset

Burnt by the Flame – Recognising the Signs of Gaslighting

Gaslighting Gaslighting has recently come to light on social media and is being increasingly spoken about. It’s not a new concept though, it’s been around for a long time and was actually named after the 1944 movie, ‘Gaslight’ where the husband manipulates his wife into thinking she is losing her sanity. Gaslighting is a form […]

Woman looking out the window

We Didn’t Start The Fire??

What is Gaslighting? Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse whereby an individual will manipulate the targeted person into believing they’re wrong, even when they’re right, causing them to doubt their perception of reality. The target may be convinced that their memories are wrong or that their feelings are overreactions, leading them to rely on […]

Living in an Unpredictable World

The world is an unpredictable place, it always has been. However, the recent experience of the COVID-19 pandemic has undoubtedly heightened this experience for us humans. So how do we stay positive? This might sound counter intuitive, but one strategy is to let yourself go with your thoughts (to a point), with the aim of […]

Female & her dog relaxing

Mental Health in the Pandemic

The pandemic has placed us in a brave new world where we have been challenged to adapt and survive in an environment that is continuously changing and leaving us on edge. What’s going to happen today? Will there be another case? Should I wear a mask? This constant state of uncertainty has generated frequent feelings […]

Flower growing through rocks

Life Can Change Like That…

The Need for Adaptability In an ever-changing world, where no day is the same, the ability to adapt to our surroundings is quickly becoming vital, although a difficult skill to possess. In the wake of growing global civil unrest, climate change, financial debt, and a global pandemic; feelings of angst, stress and more than a […]

Toy holding a broken heart

Dealing with Friendship Breakups

There are three important questions to ask yourself in any relationship who am I? where am I going? and, who is coming with me? Who am I? Is a big question, and one that is both not stagnant, and answered by a series of other questions such as “what do I like/dislike?” Where am I […]

Hands not touching

Toxic Friendships

When it’s time to say goodbye… Toxic friendships can be tough to deal with, and even recognise at times. Whether it’s the inability to connect on a level you once did, or perhaps you’ve merely grown apart and they treat you differently as a result. Recognising when people are taking more from you than they’re […]

Women hugging

Being There for Your Friends

Have you ever been in a situation where a friend reaches out and asks for advice on a problem they’re dealing with? By listening and responding to your friend you are providing something called social support. Social support is the assistance that is accessible and provided by your social network to aid in difficult situations. […]

Women laughing at a picnic

Importance of Social Health and Being Socially Healthy

Humans are inherently social beings. We interact with different people in different ways every day. Hence, connections and relationships are an essential component to our overall health, well-being and wellness. So what is social health? Social health is our ability to interact and build valuable and meaningful relationships with others. It involves how comfortable we […]

Young boy reading in bed

Train Your Brain

Control your thoughts, clear your mind. “Mind control”– it’s the stuff from science fiction movies typically with sinister overtones.  In its purest form though, it’s simply about training your brain to serve you better. Previous blogs have covered ‘exercising your mind’ and ‘your thoughts aren’t necessarily facts’. In this post, we’ll focus on controlling your […]

Tight roping across the ocean

Challenges are an Important Part of Life

A health crisis. A marriage breakdown. A death of a close friend. A workplace crisis. A global pandemic. Life is no doubt full of life challenges. Challenges that are unexpected and hard to overcome. Challenges are what makes life interesting and overcoming them makes life meaningful. It’s inevitable that you will experience adversity and challenges […]

Child and parent holding hands on a log

How to Tap into Our Empathy? Empathy Fosters Compassion.

Empathy  What is Empathy?  Social researchers normally define empathy as the ability to sense other’s emotions and the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling. According to vulnerability researcher Brene Brown, the empathetic person will recognize the struggle of someone else without minimizing it, and be able to communicate a powerful sense […]

Women forming a heart shape with her hands in front of a sunrise

Compassion to Yourself is a Real Thing! How to be Kinder to Yourself?

Self-Compassion Self-compassion is often associated with shame and dismissed as something that leads to self-indulgence or self-pitying. It may be avoided as it forces us to think of times we were not compassionate to ourselves or when others weren’t compassionate to us. However, it is a real and important thing. It helps us internalise stressors […]

Human figure forming a love heart

Self-compassion vs Self-esteem

Self-Compassion In our earlier blog post, we explored how to be compassionate towards others and ourselves. In this blog, we will take a closer look at self-compassion, how self-compassion is different to self-esteem, and how we can use self-compassion to move beyond self-criticism. This post is largely informed by the research of psychologist Kristen Neff, […]

Male and female in a field of flowers hugging

Compassion – What does it REALLY mean?

In order to understand what it means to be compassionate; we must first understand the different approaches people adopt in relating to another’s distress. Problem Solver Imagine you have just separated from your partner. An individual who encourages you to take action, without properly acknowledging the gravity of the situation, might be considered a ‘problem […]

A picture of the road behind taken through side mirror of a car

Don’t Let Your Ego Get in The Way

As part of our focus on radical open mindedness it is necessary to look at our ego. This impacts the way we make decisions, form opinions, and hold discussions with others (in particular, colleagues). So before you tune out, thinking this article is not relevant to you because “I don’t have an ego, I am […]

Road surrounded by trees

Get Going and Keep Going

This is a timely blog post with Xmas and New Year resolutions just around the corner! We all understand, hopefully, that life is a journey and if we are to be as successful as we are capable of becoming in any meaningful pursuit/s in our life then we need to have the resilience, perseverance and […]

Man sitting down on the wharf facing out towards the mountains

Can Stress be GOOD for You?

When faced with some threat in our environment, our autonomic nervous system, one of the major neural pathways in the brain, becomes activated. Activation of this neural circuity triggers our ‘flight or fight’ response. This response is our natural response to danger. Think of a time when you were confronted with a terrifying situation. What […]

Man holding Barbell weights on the ground

How to Make Stress Work For You

Hi, this is Oliver, your (stress) instructor….. Doooooooowwwwwwwwwn up, doooooowwwwwnnn up, come on more energy! In many areas of our lives we put ourselves under pressure and view this as a positive thing. We see the purpose of this exercise and what pursuing through that stress will ultimately reward us with. However, when this pressure […]

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The Place for Mental Fitness

What is Mental Fitness? Have you ever thought about how mentally fit you are? You’ve probably heard of the buzz term “mental toughness”, but have you heard of “mental fitness?” Mental fitness is the ability to live life in a satisfying and sustainable way that enables you to cope with day-to-day challenges. It’s not just […]

Young boy and young girl holding hands while walking on a bridge

Mental Health for Children

Healthy Families, Healthy Homes Mental health is an integral part of overall wellbeing for children. Like adults, the mental health of children is not static; it is a continuum where one can be in a state of optimal mental health, poor mental health or somewhere in between. At such pivotal and influential ages, there are […]

Women… It’s not selfish to look after yourself!

    selfish /ˈsɛlfɪʃ/ adjective (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.   It’s not always easy to put oneself first, particularly when you have other people depending on you. Women active in their different communities, mothers, daughters, wives, and girlfriends have […]

Women sitting on the rocks looking out towards the ocean

Self-Care is NOT Selfish

When asked, “What do you really do to take care of yourself?”; many of us struggle to answer this. Instead we are guilty of persisting through a day of work, completing errand after errand, attending to others over ourselves until it gets to the end of the day, leaving ourselves feeling exhausted, drained and depleted. […]

A person running through a park

Men’s Mental Health – What Does it Really Mean?

Where does Men’s Mental Health currently stand? It has long been the understanding that men struggle to acknowledge when mental health issues are present and are less likely to reach out for support. Now, I don’t wish this blog to be another “men should reach out for support” or “mental health challenges are part of […]