A man looking towards the sun

Fire Up Your Awareness

Changing Your Habits of Gaslighting and Recovering From Gaslighting Do you stoke the flame? Gaslighting can be difficult to identify, it can be even harder to identify if you’re the gaslighter. The main concept of gaslighting is an assertion of power and control. Denying other people’s feelings and perspectives and further reiterating yours is the […]

Flame

Extinguishing The Flame

The Consequences of Gaslighting and How to Stand up for Yourself What is Gaslighting? Have you ever found yourself in a relationship or friendship with someone who is constantly denying their actions or words? You know they said they would do something or that they went somewhere, you know you heard it or saw it […]

A woman upset

Burnt by the Flame – Recognising the Signs of Gaslighting

Gaslighting Gaslighting has recently come to light on social media and is being increasingly spoken about. It’s not a new concept though, it’s been around for a long time and was actually named after the 1944 movie, ‘Gaslight’ where the husband manipulates his wife into thinking she is losing her sanity. Gaslighting is a form […]

Woman looking out the window

We Didn’t Start The Fire??

What is Gaslighting? Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse whereby an individual will manipulate the targeted person into believing they’re wrong, even when they’re right, causing them to doubt their perception of reality. The target may be convinced that their memories are wrong or that their feelings are overreactions, leading them to rely on […]

Living in an Unpredictable World

The world is an unpredictable place, it always has been. However, the recent experience of the COVID-19 pandemic has undoubtedly heightened this experience for us humans. So how do we stay positive? This might sound counter intuitive, but one strategy is to let yourself go with your thoughts (to a point), with the aim of […]

Female & her dog relaxing

Mental Health in the Pandemic

The pandemic has placed us in a brave new world where we have been challenged to adapt and survive in an environment that is continuously changing and leaving us on edge. What’s going to happen today? Will there be another case? Should I wear a mask? This constant state of uncertainty has generated frequent feelings […]

Flower growing through rocks

Life Can Change Like That…

The Need for Adaptability In an ever-changing world, where no day is the same, the ability to adapt to our surroundings is quickly becoming vital, although a difficult skill to possess. In the wake of growing global civil unrest, climate change, financial debt, and a global pandemic; feelings of angst, stress and more than a […]

Older couple facetiming

Surviving Life

Ups & Downs of Living in a Pandemic COVID-19 has forced us to acquire new knowledge and skills to assist with generating a new way of thinking that accommodates our current, ever-changing times. We never know when or how our everyday life is going to be changed. What may have made sense last year, may […]

Toy holding a broken heart

Dealing with Friendship Breakups

There are three important questions to ask yourself in any relationship who am I? where am I going? and, who is coming with me? Who am I? Is a big question, and one that is both not stagnant, and answered by a series of other questions such as “what do I like/dislike?” Where am I […]

Hands not touching

Toxic Friendships

When it’s time to say goodbye… Toxic friendships can be tough to deal with, and even recognise at times. Whether it’s the inability to connect on a level you once did, or perhaps you’ve merely grown apart and they treat you differently as a result. Recognising when people are taking more from you than they’re […]

Women hugging

Being There for Your Friends

Have you ever been in a situation where a friend reaches out and asks for advice on a problem they’re dealing with? By listening and responding to your friend you are providing something called social support. Social support is the assistance that is accessible and provided by your social network to aid in difficult situations. […]

Women laughing at a picnic

Importance of Social Health and Being Socially Healthy

Humans are inherently social beings. We interact with different people in different ways every day. Hence, connections and relationships are an essential component to our overall health, well-being and wellness. So what is social health? Social health is our ability to interact and build valuable and meaningful relationships with others. It involves how comfortable we […]

Two young girls playing chess

Memory – What is it & How to improve it?

What is Memory? Memory is widely understood to be defined as the process of learning, storing and retrieving information. There are two overarching types of memory which are then subdivided depending on the kind of stimuli (senses) and how it’s recalled. ‘Temporary’ memories or information that is stored for a short period of time is […]

Young boy reading in bed

Train Your Brain

Control your thoughts, clear your mind. “Mind control”– it’s the stuff from science fiction movies typically with sinister overtones.  In its purest form though, it’s simply about training your brain to serve you better. Previous blogs have covered ‘exercising your mind’ and ‘your thoughts aren’t necessarily facts’. In this post, we’ll focus on controlling your […]

Man thinking

Healthy Minds – Thoughts aren’t facts, don’t take them too seriously

Can you tell the difference between a fact and an opinion? Sometimes it can be difficult to see the difference. Often, we respond to our thoughts as if they reflect facts about the world, but they more often represent opinions or assumptions. Being able to tell the difference between facts and opinions is a valuable […]

Young boy reading

The Importance of Exercising Your mind

The mind like any muscle, must be exercised. When we think about our health and well-being, we tend to focus on our physical health. Thus, we typically neglect the health of our mind, which is a critical aspect of our overall well-being. Whilst a healthy body keeps us active, fit and well. A healthy mind […]

Man with his head in his hands

What Happens if the Challenge is too Much? Facing Overwhelming Challenges 

Ever faced a challenge so big it fills you with terror? Where the sheer size of the what you have to deal with makes you feel completely overwhelmed?  What Happens?  For a start, you might feel bit of a “brain freeze”. The brain’s pre-frontal cortex (where logic, problem solving, analysis, prioritisation take place) goes off line, and our amygdala fires up the fight, flight, freeze response. The perception of […]

Flower growing through rocks

Viewing Challenges as an Opportunity, NOT a Problem

So often, in everyday life, we are faced with important decisions concerning new challenges. These could include applying for a new course at university or deciding on taking a new job. These kinds of challenges are a vital component of our ability to grow and develop as an individual. The more we test ourselves, including […]

Bike rider on a hill at sunrise

The Unexpected but Powerful Role of Life Challenges

Challenges Stimulates Growth and Progress As young humans, we are faced with daily challenges. From learning to roll, to crawl, and then to walk, none of which are easy feats. All have obvious (i.e. new physical capabilities), and not so obvious consequences (i.e. wiring of neuron pathways) that ultimately stimulate growth and progress. Have you […]

Tight roping across the ocean

Challenges are an Important Part of Life

A health crisis. A marriage breakdown. A death of a close friend. A workplace crisis. A global pandemic. Life is no doubt full of life challenges. Challenges that are unexpected and hard to overcome. Challenges are what makes life interesting and overcoming them makes life meaningful. It’s inevitable that you will experience adversity and challenges […]

Child and parent holding hands on a log

How to Tap into Our Empathy? Empathy Fosters Compassion.

Empathy  What is Empathy?  Social researchers normally define empathy as the ability to sense other’s emotions and the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling. According to vulnerability researcher Brene Brown, the empathetic person will recognize the struggle of someone else without minimizing it, and be able to communicate a powerful sense […]

Two women standing talking

Compassion Belongs in the Workplace

So, how do you bring compassion to the workplace? Throughout this month, we have dived into what compassion is, the kind of power it holds, and how we can be kinder to ourselves. But an area we are yet to explore is an area where we spend the majority of our week. That being the […]

Women forming a heart shape with her hands in front of a sunrise

Compassion to Yourself is a Real Thing! How to be Kinder to Yourself?

Self-Compassion Self-compassion is often associated with shame and dismissed as something that leads to self-indulgence or self-pitying. It may be avoided as it forces us to think of times we were not compassionate to ourselves or when others weren’t compassionate to us. However, it is a real and important thing. It helps us internalise stressors […]

Human figure forming a love heart

Self-compassion vs Self-esteem

Self-Compassion In our earlier blog post, we explored how to be compassionate towards others and ourselves. In this blog, we will take a closer look at self-compassion, how self-compassion is different to self-esteem, and how we can use self-compassion to move beyond self-criticism. This post is largely informed by the research of psychologist Kristen Neff, […]

Male and female in a field of flowers hugging

Compassion – What does it REALLY mean?

In order to understand what it means to be compassionate; we must first understand the different approaches people adopt in relating to another’s distress. Problem Solver Imagine you have just separated from your partner. An individual who encourages you to take action, without properly acknowledging the gravity of the situation, might be considered a ‘problem […]

Young woman and an older woman talking

Ways to Tell an Extrovert and an Introvert Apart

At some stage of your life, you’ve likely used the terms extrovert and introvert to label another, even yourself. Imagine this, you’re at your work Xmas party. An hour into the social gathering, you have recognised that one person, Matthew, has been doing the most talking by a significant margin. You feel yourself become indignant, […]

Hands and feet in a circle

Setting People Up for Success: How to Lead People to their Strengths

The hard part of leadership is leading others. It’s not a skill we learn at university. Unless you’re in a services-based industry which requires you to interact with others frequently, there’s limited “leadership skills” we learn while on the job. The easiest way to begin setting yourself (and others) up for success through your leadership […]

Mix of people standing next to each other with their arms around each other

How to Define Our Differences?

It is truly amazing how differently we all view the world. How our likes, dislikes, skills and preferences shape the way we think, feel and behave. We are all a kaleidoscope of different attributes, but it’s possible to arrange these differences into key categories. For some people, arranging our attributes, styles and personalities into groups, […]

Road surrounded by trees

Get Going and Keep Going

This is a timely blog post with Xmas and New Year resolutions just around the corner! We all understand, hopefully, that life is a journey and if we are to be as successful as we are capable of becoming in any meaningful pursuit/s in our life then we need to have the resilience, perseverance and […]

Man sitting down on the wharf facing out towards the mountains

Can Stress be GOOD for You?

When faced with some threat in our environment, our autonomic nervous system, one of the major neural pathways in the brain, becomes activated. Activation of this neural circuity triggers our ‘flight or fight’ response. This response is our natural response to danger. Think of a time when you were confronted with a terrifying situation. What […]

Man holding Barbell weights on the ground

How to Make Stress Work For You

Hi, this is Oliver, your (stress) instructor….. Doooooooowwwwwwwwwn up, doooooowwwwwnnn up, come on more energy! In many areas of our lives we put ourselves under pressure and view this as a positive thing. We see the purpose of this exercise and what pursuing through that stress will ultimately reward us with. However, when this pressure […]

Young boy and young girl holding hands while walking on a bridge

Mental Health for Children

Healthy Families, Healthy Homes Mental health is an integral part of overall wellbeing for children. Like adults, the mental health of children is not static; it is a continuum where one can be in a state of optimal mental health, poor mental health or somewhere in between. At such pivotal and influential ages, there are […]

Women… It’s not selfish to look after yourself!

    selfish /ˈsɛlfɪʃ/ adjective (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.   It’s not always easy to put oneself first, particularly when you have other people depending on you. Women active in their different communities, mothers, daughters, wives, and girlfriends have […]

Two elderly people on the beach looking out towards the water; one is standing and one is seated

Helping Someone Who Isn’t OK

Going beyond the conversation of asking if someone is OK, is a difficult step to take. It takes a bundle of courage to simply ask, “are you okay?” However, it takes a stack of bravery to go a step further and genuinely help someone who isn’t okay. Initially when asking if someone is okay, people […]

Two girls sitting on a ledge looking out towards the mountains

Helper vs Rescuer

R U OK? R U OK day (Sept 10), is a terrific day encouraging us all to look out for each other and “check-in” on how we’re traveling regarding our mental health and wellbeing. Obviously 2020 has thrown up unique challenges which at some point have tested us all in very different ways. With a […]

Person on ledge with gumboots helps young boy in yellow raincoat

How to Ask R U OK?

Something in your gut has told you that your friend, family member, colleague or acquaintance, may not be doing so well – it could be a change in something they are doing, saying, or something that you’re aware of is going on in their life. You could ignore your gut and brush it off, or […]

How to Prioritise Our Resilience Through Mindfulness

It is important to prioritise resilience due to its research-based evidence of physical and emotional benefits, wellbeing and performance outcomes. And we know that one of the best things about resilience is that it is not a set genetic trait – it is something that we can continually develop in life. Research shows that the […]

How can Resilience Benefit My Physical & Emotional Wellbeing?

More than a buzz word, resilience is a key driver of our health and well-being. It’s not just my opinion due to my observations as a Psychologist over many years but backed up by research out of Harvard Medical School and many other centres that provide evidence base research in this area. The ability to […]

Resilience in the Face of Change

Change is an unavoidable part of life and sometimes this means dealing with difficult challenges, setbacks or extreme hardship. At the moment, many people are facing unwanted changes to their lives and livelihoods. Losing jobs, losing career opportunities and unplanned financial burdens are unfortunately commonplace. These changes can lead to a range of strong negative […]

What the Buzz is Resiliency?

A major buzz word that circulates many domains is resilience. It is one of the most popular topics for positive psychology and for good reason. Resilience, in a nutshell, is an individual’s ability to bounce back and adapt from setbacks and challenges they have faced in their life. The way we react to the mistakes […]

How To Avoid Stress Silo’s

What is a stress silo? A stress silo is what many us put ourselves in when we are faced with those common life challenges. These can include deadlines at work, change, setbacks, or multi-tasking, just to name a few examples. It is when we disconnect from those around us, cut off our connections and go […]

Giving and Taking in Relationships

How we approach our relationships can be a significant determining factor for a range of outcomes relating to personal and professional success.   What are the three types of individuals in relationships? Giving in relationships can vary; an individual may approach giving in their professional life differently to giving with friends or family. Although research […]

Becoming who you see and believe – The self-fulfilling prophecy

Throughout our lives, there are moments where we may have felt we accurately predicted something would to happen to us. Whether that be you thought “I feel really confident going into this interview today” and you go in, nail it and get the job, or you thought “this workout is going to be painful” and […]

Focusing on Making a Comeback

Why is making a comeback important? Making a comeback is an especially important area in light of all things COVID-19 and the recent events of 2020. Many carefully formulated plans or goals may not have come to fruition. This blog provides some practical tips on what making a comeback is all about when the chips […]

Down the Stretch – Bringing Home the Win in the Final Moments

Icing the Game Earlier this month you would have read a great blog written by our team mate Kate Nelson on ‘how to avoid choking’. This blog is similar that we are talking about ‘how to ice the game,’ which follows on from the previous blog. However, this topic is slightly different as it looks […]

Staying Cool Under Pressure

What is choking? Star basketballers missing a penalty shot in overtime. Well-rehearsed interviewees forget their words during job interviews. Performers sing off pitch or jumble their words on stage. People embarrass themselves on first dates, after practicing introducing themselves in the mirror over and over. Students forget their in-exam essay they have re-written a million […]

Setting Boundaries for Yourself

Why do we need to set boundaries? We all have our limits. Whether that be at home, at work or with friends, we all have that line which we draw in the sand and say, “yes, that is enough for me”. When our limits have been pushed, we can often feel frustrated and disregarded. An […]

How Patience Drives Success

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”― Lao Tzu We have probably all been given the advice to take it ‘One step at a time’. The great UCLA basketball coach John Wooden often questioned his players ‘If you don’t do it properly the first time, when will you have time to do […]

Practicing Honesty – How much is enough?

“Honesty is the best policy” A cliché Benjamin Franklin quote we have all heard more than once throughout our lifetime. However, Franklin also said “Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment”. The ‘wrong thing’ referred […]

There is an I in Tribe

What is a ‘Tribe?’ As humans we all are part of and operate in systems. We call them families, teams, groups, or more recently “tribes”. There are traditional models of these systems, and there are the individual definitions of these systems. Different personalities tend to gravitate more heavily to certain systems over others. For some, […]

How do you Lead After COVID-19 is Over?

Post COVID-19 life still seems a distant and luxurious concept…. However it will come and this thing has a full stop. The position we and our organisations find ourselves in will vary greatly. For some (most), it will be the down to the task of rebuilding. For others, it will be deciding if the new […]

Navigating Your Way Through a Crisis Situation such as COVID-19 (As a Leader)

When the going gets tough, the tough (resilient) get going – Joseph Kennedy While this is a nice sentiment expressed by Jo Kennedy, father of the US president John, it really only states the beginning of a leader’s journey. That is, when things go pear shaped, as they have with gone with COVID-19 for example. […]

‘Leader’ vs. ‘Manager’ – What is the Real Difference?

‘Leader’ and ‘Manager’ are two of the most common terms used in business and beyond.  Often the terms are used interchangeably. Sometimes there may be a positive connotation towards being a ‘leader’ and more negative connotations towards being a ‘manager’. When put head to head, there are distinctive differences. But is being a leader better […]

How Learning to Embrace Failure is a Leader’s Biggest Quality

When you are a part of a team, the word ‘Leadership’ gets thrown around a lot. It signifies the act of taking charge and guiding the team in the best direction. Along with this, we also always hear about the qualities of a good leader. These include: Effective communication skills Enthusiasm Empowering Organised And the […]

How Should I Feel in a Positive Relationship?

Avoiding Making the Same Mistakes Humans are creatures of habit. Some of these habits are better than others and forming these good habits can be a tool for achieving success in life. However, negative habits formed can also make it difficult for us to make change. This is clearly seen in relationships, where people form […]

Finding Purpose and Meaningful Pursuits

Stepping back to understand our motivations & purpose The need for purpose and meaning behind our actions is one of the defining characteristics of human beings. We are in a healthier state of psychological well-being when we are pursuing tasks that are meaningful to us. We can also suffer quite serious psychological difficulties when we […]

How Does Comparison Steal Your Happiness?

What is Comparison? We have all heard of Teddy Roosevelt’s famous saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. In other words – when we compare ourselves to others, it can be detrimental to our mental health and cripple our happiness. Recent research has found that around 10% of our thinking daily revolves around comparing ourselves […]

How to Speak Without Words

Why Non – Verbal Communication? Communication underpins the bulk of human interactions. In fact, it is a crucial, if not the most crucial element for humans being able to exist and bond together as social beings in families, communities and cultures. This in turn shapes the norms and acceptable behaviours for how we interact within […]

10 Tips to Being Assertive

What Actually is ‘Assertiveness’? Assertiveness sits in the middle of being passive or aggressive. When correctly demonstrated, it is an invaluable tool that can be used in every area of your life. However, a majority of people struggle to achieve and maintain this balance of standing up for themselves and their values, without intimidating or […]

What We’ve Learned From Hollywood – 6 Styles of Communication and The Characters They Represent

Communication is a key factor in a working team and our relationships with others. It is defined as when information has been transferred between people, through talking, writing or another medium. One of the major areas that communication affects is romantic relationships. A large amount of relationships end due to lack of, or incompatible communication […]

Are you Getting Your Message Across?

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place” George Bernard Shaw As humans we often assume that ‘Because I spoke, the message was delivered. Because that message was delivered it was received, interpreted, and understood correctly by the person we were conversing with.’ Unfortunately, communicating is a little more complicated […]

How to Refresh your 2020

Have you had the usual start to 2020 – resolutions made and goals set? And as the end of January fast approaches, how are you travelling? If there hasn’t been much progress, resist the temptation to ditch it all, and perhaps opt for the ‘refresh’ button instead. What does this involve? Be clear on the […]

Stumbled at the Start Line?

Did you start the year with a new goal? Did you buy new runners? Did you set a time limit on a new project you wanted to complete, or a deadline to get a new job? But now, the weeks are passing into months and you haven’t really put anything in place. But stumbling at […]

How to Maintain 2020 Vision

A new year has begun, and we all want the best 2020 vision for the year ahead. As we start to get back into our regular routine whether that be at work, studying or training, you are probably thinking about the goals you have set for yourself and how you are going to maintain it. […]

Grab the Wheel and Take Control – How to Improve through Setting Goals

How can goal setting improve wellbeing? Everyone has heard how goal setting improves performance. But how many of us know the benefits that goal setting can have on our mental wellbeing? Not only do goals influence our actions, but they also influence the way we perceive the world and ourselves. Setting goals allows us to […]

How to Fail Your New Years Resolutions

Did you know an estimated 73% of Australians make New Years Resolutions every year? Can you guess how many keep them? 100%? 50%? …. 20%? Studies have found that less than 20% of people actually stick to their New Years Resolutions. The whole process has been broken down, analysed, psychoanalysed, improved and changed by millions […]

Is your Thinking Unhealthy?

Thoughts are a part of life – there is no way to avoid them or escape them. But for something that is an innate part of your daily routine, how often do you stop to think about your thoughts? Things that have happened in the past, in the present, and in the future all affect […]

Put 20% in, get 80% out!

(The 80/20 Rule) In life, a majority of things are not evenly distributed. This can be socially, financially or even just talent that people are born with. In light of this, an Italian man called Vifredo Pareto noticed that 80% of the income in Italy was received by only 20% of the population. Thinking about […]

What does Motivation Really Mean?

A lot of people engage performance psychology services looking for ‘keys’ to steely motivation.  This is the type of drive and discipline that sees us leap out of bed at 4:30 in the morning rain, hail or shine, then charge off on a 15km run and be the first into the office and last to […]

Attitudinal Efficiency

How to Conserve Your Energy to Think Awesomely! Most of us realise we need to be efficient with the use of our energy every day. Unlike the energiser bunny, humans only have a set amount of things we can do before our batteries run out. We need to be careful to not waste this valuable […]

Marathon running

10 Tips to Logical Thinking

Why do I need to know? High pressure situations are a part of life – from giving work presentations to meeting your romantic partners’ parents and friends. These stressful situations can easily become overwhelming and make you feel out of your depth, leading to under performance. One of life’s biggest challenges is learning how to […]

Adorable couple sitting on bench

How to Stay Rational in an Irrational World

Logic, Emotions & How to Look After Your Brain Sides of the Brain A favourite topic of psychology is the role of left and right side of our brain in everyday functioning . The right side of the brain is ‘creative’ and home to emotions, intuition, creativity, art and music. On the other hand, the […]